In sex, as in life, every man would like to last a little longer. But how fast is too fast for an orgasm? And what can you do if lovemaking loses its appeal because of premature ejaculation?
First of all, let’s define premature ejaculation. Most men ejaculate faster than you might think—usually one to six minutes after beginning intercourse. But about 15 to 20 percent of men have trouble delaying ejaculation that long; some ejaculate before penetrating a woman’s vagina.
Physical problems such as prostatitis and urinary tract infections can cause premature ejaculation. But experts say it more often has a psychological basis. The natural remedies in this chapter—in conjunction with medical care and used with your doctor’s approval—may help prevent premature ejaculation, according to some health professionals.
See Your Medical Doctor When...
Flower Remedy/Essence Therapy
Men prone to premature ejaculation may benefit from regular use of the California flower essence Hibiscus, suggests Santa Monica, California, family practice physician Cynthia Mervis Watson, M.D., who specializes in homeopathy and herbal therapy. “Tension and lack of emotional connection are often underlying reasons why a man has sexual problems. Hibiscus helps him relax and restores warmth to the sexual relationship,” says Dr. Watson.
Flower essences are available in some health food stores and through mail order (refer to the resource list on page 635). For information on preparing and administering flower essences, see page 37.
If you have a strong sexual desire but avoid intercourse, and if you ejaculate either early or not at all, try Graphites 12C two to four times a day until you improve, suggests Chris Meletis, N.D., a naturopathic physician and medicinary director at the National College of Naturopathic Medicine in Portland, Oregon. He says that a similar dose of Nux Vomica 12C may help if your symptoms include irritability, anger and intolerance of your own and others’ imperfections, especially if you are very busy and have lots of worries. If you experience premature ejaculation and have itchy genitals, which may be cold and relaxed (a limp penis and sagging scrotum), Dr. Meletis recommends Sulfur 12C two to four times a day. Lycopodium 12C in a similar dose may be helpful if your symptoms are worse in the evening and with heat and better with cold, he says.
All of these remedies are available in many health food stores. To purchase the remedies by mail, refer to the resource list on page 637.
“Picture yourself performing onstage. Who’s watching this performance? Your mother? Your father? Your minister? Whoever it is, tell that person to go away,” says Dennis Gersten, M.D., a San Diego psychiatrist and publisher of Atlantis, a bi-monthly imagery newsletter. “Now get off the stage and follow a trail out into the countryside until you come to a haystack in a barn. Picture it as the most down-to-earth place you can imagine. Now imagine you and your lover having a grand old time. Fill in all of the details yourself.” Dr. Gersten suggests using this imagery for 10 to 20 minutes twice a day.